Daniel Kells

Back when the Loews movie chain was around, this was the intro they played before certain movies.

Don’t forget to watch the movie.

Is it wrong that my desire is to hit people that stand up within minutes of the pilot putting on the “fasten seatbelts” sign? And can I be wrong if, figuring that for at least a few moments the aisles will be clear of people,I stretch my legs out and into said aisle? Therefore, can I be blamed if some douche who decides to hit the head during a period designated as “sit the fuck down-time” happens to trip on my foot? Can I really be at fault?

I’m at the airport heading east for Christmas. Convinced that if I went to bed last night I would not have woken up, I instead have pulled an all-nighter. Hooray for me! I wiled away the hours between when normal people go to bed and now by first playing in a midnight poker tournament (didn’t do well, but literally saw no good hands… ah well) and then an Omaha cash game table. Not bad… I made up the $50 for the tourney plus another $25.

Now I’m at the airport waiting for the van to take me from the rental car place to the terminal. And the bus hasn’t shown up for about 10 minutes and people are getting wicked antsy.

I feel like if people are already wound this tight, things are only going to go downhill from here.

One woman snapped at her boyfriend, “I can carry my own purse, I’m not crippled.” And she wasn’t even remotely crippled.

Also, I feel like if the folks who do the oggie-boogie Nazi security thing at the curb at the airport focused on getting people to and from the curb in an organized fashion, their ability to properly monitor us for suspicious behavior would increase. And for whatever it’s worth, has anybody ever done a study on this? Or have they already solved it in France and Japan but we just suck?

Another thought… Christmas is the one time of year when there are more people who normally get upgraded flying than there are business and first class seats to accomodate them. Some people take it like champs… no big whoop seems to be the best attitude. But some people are not happy to be sitting out back with Jack, Rose and me.

I just saw a commercial for the Snuggie, a blanket-robe combo. In it, people who appear to be from Utah do things we would normally do in regular clothes, only they do these things clad in a Snuggie. The women look sort of odd but normal, but the men look like monks. Seriously, monks in recliners pretending to be interested in a catalog or something. Check it out at www.getsnuggie.com.

It’s commercials like that that make me think, “Maybe I’ll give the company a call and tell them their commercial sucks.”

Truth be told, I’m not too familiar with Joss Whedon’s work. But after watching “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog,” I’m officially a fan.

It’s pretty long (45 minutes or so), but the music’s great, Neil Patrick Harris is top-flight, Nathan Fillion is a riot (you might recognize him as the doctor from “Waitress”), and Felicia Day is beautiful.

You can watch if free (streaming) below, or show the producers some love by downloading it on iTunes.

My boss C. Jay Cox has a film coming out! Scheduled for release January 30, 2009, “New in Town” stars Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick, Jr. I proofread the script! Perhaps you’ll recognize a corrected typo or two.

Here’s the trailer:

The Bill O’Reilly “Inside Edition” meltdown has been re-played to death (in a mere three days), but this take is pretty funny.

Yesterday my dog Tessie had a cancerous mast cell tumor removed from her back.  She handled the surgery just fine, though today she seems to be sad and/or in pain, as she’s been quietly crying pretty regularly throughout the afternoon.  A couple of friends have asked what the surgery scar looks like, so I’ve decided to post a pictue here (well, after the jump actually).  Hopefully she’ll recover from the surgery and we won’t have any more recurrances of this.

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I’m not 100% sure I care whether or not the nomination process for the Democrats is wrapped up soon.  Personally, I think that McCain is such a flawed candidate and the country ready for a change that regardless of if the nominee is Hillary or Barack, and regardless of if the process wraps up tomorrow or in August, I think whichever one is the nominee has a better than good shot at winning.

That said, I think a completely wrecked Chelsea is saying to her mom in this photo, “Maaa, I wanna go home, okay?  Now.  Please?  You’re embarrassing me.  C’mon, ma.  Please.  Let’s go.”

Photo:  REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

This evening MSNBC is airing a documentary called “Into the Woods,” about a child predator who kept his victims… wait for it… in the woods.

Unfortunately, one of the sharp tacks at Time Warner Cable got it a smidge wrong, and as you can see from the screen capture below, Sondheim fans will be sorely disappointed when they tune in.