Daniel Kells

I’m in Las Vegas for a night, primarily to visit with my stepdad and little brother, who are in town for the big Computer Electronics Show (CES). I saw my stepdad briefly, but will have a better opportunity to catch up with him tomorrow at dinner. But I hung out with my little brother all night, and had a great time. We ate at the Cheesecake Factory at the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace. Very tacky, but good. After dinner, we watched some TV in his room (I know what you’re thinking: could this guy’s life get any more glam?!), then I went to play some poker. It’s almost 2:00 a.m. now, and here are some observations, etc.

Little did I know, but outside of Los Angeles and New York (the two big cities I either live in or have recently visited) Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham has had a decidedly strong influence on the fashion choices of some women who could generously be classified as “cougars” (or, more crassly, MILF). It’s strange to see early 50’s women dressed like complete whores, and not because they actually are whores, but most likely because they like feeling like whores. Maybe. I’m being overly general (and potentially sexist, though I’ll get to the male whores in a moment to even things out), but I have now witnessed at least 4 women all with the same Posh haircut, and the tightest clothes (and faces) you can imagine. And designer whore clothes, like Valentino and Versace.

Then there are two types of guys here right now (again, I’m generalizing). First, there’s the “I’m a computer geek at home but here at CES I’m a fuckin’ rock star so I’m going to put on my best dress shirt undo the top thirty-seven buttons keep it untucked and strut around in cowboy boots.” There’s something both hot and sad about these guys, and I enjoy trying to figure out which of each group (they travel in packs) will be online later attempting to have gay sex. Or perhaps hoping…

Second, there’s the maurading bands of Middle Eastern guys, all dressed like they’re about to go gay bar-hopping in Weho, proving (especially when you get to share an elevator with them) why duty-free shops sell so much cologne. They too dress like whores, and slick their hair into all sorts of shapes and designs. It’s tougher to pick out which of these guys (they too travel in packs) will be seeking gay sex online.

So, poker. A good night for me (with one early-on pussy-ish move that deprived me of $400). I turned $100 into $245 total, which I’m thrilled about, and will avoid playing tomorrow in order to go home with a profit. But I’m still kicking myself for an early fold. My second hand at the table of nine I was dealt Ace-four off-suit in middle position, and there was a raise ahead of me to $25 (a raise of $22 over the $3 big blind), and I folded. I would have made trip aces on the flop, and had I stayed in and went all-in for my original $100, I would have been awarded with quad aces on the river. I folded quad aces!!! Argh!! Could have made a $400 profit. Normally when I see that I could have won a pot if only I stayed in, I play spectacularly bad after. But I kept a level head and won two decent pots over about 2 hours. Trust me, I’m not comlaining!!

And one final observation. My brother and I watched part of the new “American Gladiators” tonight. I felt stupider afterwards than I did beforehand. I hate shows that suck brain cells from my head, as I have so few to spare. But there was one moment that gave me no hope for the state of televison with the writers strike on… For the final challenge, two women competed in an osbtacle course that involved swimming underwater. And, 57 seconds after finishing the course, a lovely African American woman was breathlessly interviewed after victoriously crossing the finish line, only her curls were fluffy and dry and well-styled. What gives?? I know “reality” TV is a load of shit, but come on, couldn’t anybody do better than this? I know I was already lulled into a mind-numbed stupor from having watched for the prior 10 minutes, but even still… Anyway, I’m sure it was a big hit…

Anyway, off to bed with me. (Also, please forgive any typos, as this was done my chubby thumbs on tiny Blackberry keys).